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Have you ever thought of cheating on your significant other? Not the juicy extra-marital kind. I am talking about the other significant partner in your life – your employer. I’ll be honest. Things are not going well between me and my employer “M”. There is a lot of stress in the relationship. “M” demands too much out of me. I feel like all my time is spent with “M” with nothing left for me. “M” makes irrational demands, sometimes telling me to do one thing and then telling me I need to do something else. Our once exciting relationship now bores me. I can hardly wait to say good bye at the end of the day.
Can you blame me for a wandering eye? My friend “J” recently left her “M” and I wanted to know if she was happier. I confided to “J” that “M” was not so satisfying anymore. Our conversation planted the seed that maybe I need to explore a bit and play the field. What harm is there in looking? Maybe a new “M” would satisfy my need for excitement and challenge. I fantasize about this more and more each day. I imagine how wonderful it would be to have a stress-free relationship, a relationship built on mutual trust and independence. The possibilities were endless in the glamorous fantasy world I created.
But what if my new “M” isn’t everything I imagine? The grass is not always greener on the other side of the street. I have heard said that when you change relationships, you take your end of a bad relationship with you. I complain a lot, I need attention, I need affirmation. I am a control-freak and can’t let things go. It takes two to tango. Maybe I am out of step just as much as “M”.
When it comes down to it, I am a product of my generation. I believe in fidelity and long-term commitments. I believe in working through problems, in not giving up the first time things go sour. My “M” provides stability, familiarity, even a little welcomed routine. I’m not a risk-taker. When I think about it, my relationship with “M” is pretty rock-solid. Maybe I am not ready to end this relationship after all.
I may still fantasize about that other “M”; a little tease keeps things interesting. But deep down, I know “M” and I are in it for the long haul. And that’s just fine with me.