One Night (Friday Fictioneers)

One Night (Friday Fictioneers)

saltaire-sarah-ann-hall
Photo Credit: Sarah Ann Hall

Seventeen vases stood in plain sight on the mantel; an unspoken confession of her love affair with William. She displayed them in order; starting with the small red vase that held the single rose  William gave her their first time together. A strange affair; they met one night a year. William  brought her flowers, she brought a vase. Together, a symbol of their union.

The next morning, an empty vase took its place with the others, symbol of her loneliness.

“I see you have a new vase.” Her husband’s eyes glanced over the top of the newspaper, then disappeared.  “Pretty.”

 

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly challenge to write a complete story in 100 words or less based on a photo prompt. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this challenge and Sarah Ann Hall for this week’s photo prompt

15 thoughts on “One Night (Friday Fictioneers)

    1. My intent was he didn’t know and his disinterest was why she was lonely. He sees the vase as a pretty decoration without knowing why she buys them. Dang 100 word limit!

    2. Iain, I realized this morning that your confusion over what was happening in my story One Night was a proofing error on my part. There was only one ‘other man’ (William) and one husband. I apologize for the confusion

    1. I realized this morning I made a blunder. There is only William. I corrected it so hopefully it makes more sense. You are the first to comment on that so thank you. I wrote it late one night and didn’t do a good job of proofing.

  1. Dear Susan,

    It seems to me that the husband disappearing wouldn’t cause her to be any lonelier than she already was. Marriage doesn’t mean a lack of loneliness, does it? Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. That’s a thoughtful piece, Susan, and it’s well constructed. I like the way you explain the symbol, and how it came into existence, all the while rousing our curiosity as to whether her husband knows. And then you do ‘show, don’t tell’ beautifully, and show us through the husband’s response that he doesn’t know – and doesn’t care, and that’s why she’s lonely.
    You didn’t need more than the hundred words – everything’s in its place, and all credit to you.
    Kudos!

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