The Elusive Poliwhirl

The Elusive Poliwhirl


The Ellusive Poliwhirl

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly challenge to write a complete story in 100 words or less based on a photo prompt. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this challenge and Ted Strutz for this week’s prompt.  

“OMG, a Poliwhirl!” Derek squealed with excitement. My phone screen showed nothing but a blinking cursor. A Poliwhirl would be a grand catch, and admittedly, I was jealous.

“Just a little bit further.” Derek raced toward the edge of the dock. Head down, eyes focused intently on the image on his phone, my friend had no idea what was ahead.

The push took him by surprise. The Poliwhirl was lost. So was Derek, sprawled on the rocks below. I fumbled with my phone, every intent to dial 9-1-1 when suddenly the Poliwhirl appeared on my screen.

The race was on!

My first impression of the photo was three people looking at down at something. The most obvious object is a phone. Isn’t that what everyone’s eyes are glued on? I am not a Pokémon Go player (admittedly, I tried it once), but there are numerous stories of the lengths people will go through just to catch a character. My story is loosely based on a young man who walked off a bridge. Fortunately he lived, but in fiction, fortune rarely plays a role.







18 thoughts on “The Elusive Poliwhirl

  1. What a sad world we live in… And that Pokemon phenomenon is way beyond my comprehension! So many stories of people getting hurt searching…
    Well done.

  2. Dear Susan,

    Kudos to you for a unique take on the prompt! I never understood the Pokemon thing and still don’t. Amazing that she’s lost her friend but is still going to race. Nicely done.



  3. I don’t think a little thing like a friends death would stop a Pokemon addict. Thanks for the comments Rochelle. They are always appreciated

  4. I’ll admit I don’t understand the Pokeman craze. I’ve seen them grouped at street corners or place all huddled around looking at their mobile phones – people who do not acknowledge the real world. Where do they live – cyberspace?

    1. I think for most it is just a high-tech game. Like all games, people can go too far and get lost in reality. Learning to balance is the key. Thanks for commenting James. I truly appreciate it

  5. Yikes!! Good one and very close to the truth.

    Actually google “Death by Pokémon GO: The Economic and Human Cost of Using Apps While Driving”. This study analysed 12,000 police accident reports to suggest that Pokémon Go caused a marked increase in vehicular damage, injuries, and even deaths due to people playing the game while driving.

    1. I did a little research and was surprised at the number of injuries. People just get lost in the game I guess. Thanks for reading my story. Much appreciated.

  6. You’ve written that story fluently and believably (although does the narrator need to push Derek? He could easily just have walked over the edge don’t you think?).

  7. Originally, Derek walked off but i was having trouble with an ending. The Narrator was jealous and only meant for Derek to fall into the water, not die on the rocks below. She wanted to help but the lure of the game was too much for her. I’m glad you liked it, inspite of the the ending. Thanks Penny

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